Someone once asked me, knowing what I know now, what advice would I have for the woman I was 10 years ago?
The advice I’d have for my younger self is simple: Stop standing at the end of the line waiting for your turn. Don’t ask permission. Just take your turn!
I consider myself to be a relatively laid back, low maintenance woman. I’m the one who would always put others first. I was always polite. I never ruffled feathers. I kept my mouth shut and, in most cases, I would never dream of speaking up out of fear that someone would disagree or feel burdened by my wants, needs and opinions.
My worst nightmare would have been for someone to misunderstand me and think of me as selfish.
So, to avoid that possibility, I was always accommodating. In the beginning, that was fine. But eventually I realized that I was intentionally waiting at the end of the line hoping someone else would call me to the front and say: Kim, what would you like? Let’s do what you want to do for once.
I just waited for that day when friends, coworkers and family members would finally say to themselves, wow, Kim is such a nice person and she has done so much for me. Let me see what I can do for her. I held my breath and waited for so long that a part of me suffocated!
So many years passed that way with no one asking me what I wanted that I too started to forget what it was that would make me happy.
Then one day I finally had enough.
I wanted to take my turn! For once, I wanted to do what I wanted!
Learning to put myself first…It took some work. At first, I was lost. I had no clue what I wanted anymore. It had been so long since anyone had asked me
“The Question”- Kim, what do you want?
I had forgotten how to answer it, even for myself. But as I learned to not only identify what I wanted but also learned to give myself permission to seek it, I started to create the life I wanted. I became a better mother, wife, woman of God and even a better business owner because I was taking my turn, enjoying the journey of finding my “happy”.
I wish I had known then what I know now. I never needed to “wait my turn.” I didn’t have to wait at the back of the line. God had placed a longing in my heart and I didn’t have to ask anyone’s permission because He had already given me His. Did He not say we are the head and not the tail? I could do what I wanted to do. All I had to do was TAKE MY TURN and stop worrying about what others would think of me.
Sometimes I ask myself, why did it take so long? Why did I wait all those years? Now, I know the answer: Fear.
I was afraid to take responsibility for my dream because what if I failed? I was afraid others would laugh at my dream. I was afraid the people I loved would not understand my dream and then refuse to support me as I went after what I wanted.
And my fears didn’t stop there.
I was afraid of people saying that acting on my dreams was childish or not a good idea, that I needed to stop dreaming and live in the REAL world.
I would tell my younger self to do it anyway. Take your turn and remember that the people who are truly in your corner will gladly allow you to take your turn and not think negativity of you for doing so.
Is something holding you back from your dreams? Have you been WAITING your turn? What are you waiting for?
Waiting on God? He’s probably waiting on you.
If you are ready to walk in your God given purpose and take your turn but don’t even know where to start, I’d love to help.
Be blessed, be encouraged.