I remember getting ready for my first day of work at my last job.
At that point in my life I was trying to trust God and learning to love myself — two things I had not truly done in years.
You would think after God blessed me with this job that I had prayed for everything would have just fallen into place. Everything should have been free and clear. The struggle should be over. Wrong.
The battle within myself — the old me vs. the new me — was just getting started.
At the time, I still associated having a job with being important and having purpose. So after months of feeling like I was nothing, this new job put me on my high horse.
There I was, standing in my bedroom the night before my first day with my ego overflowing. I knew that I’d be one of the only black women in the office. That meant I had to be ready to walk into that building and “represent” in my best business causal.
As I pulled pencil skirts and dressy shirts and slacks and pumps from my closet and prepared my wardrobe for the week, I was finally feeling like the “old me” again. I felt intelligent. I felt important. I felt classy.
And by the time I got to the purses — the best part of my outfits — there was nothing anybody could tell me except: YAASS, Kim! You are as flawless as you think you are. (Two Snaps! Who gone check me boo?!)
As I chose outfits, I started to rap to myself: “Stuntin’ on them bitches. Stun, stuntin’ on them bitches” with visions of myself showing up to work and turning heads as I walked in looking calm, cool and collected.
I was so busy packing for this ego trip that I was on, I couldn’t even see what I was doing wrong.
But there was one major problem: This thought process was a part of the old me and God had already started to create a new me. As quickly as I said the words the “new me” snatched that rap right out of my mouth and looked at it. I asked myself: “Where did this come from?”
The “new me” started to check me: “You are not stunting on anyone! These clothes are not even new! They are two years old. And you didn’t even get this job on your own! God gave you this job!”
I almost broke down in tears.
The thought was like a punch in the chest to me. It really knocked down my pride and hurt my feelings. But it was necessary. I had to remind myself of where I really was before I could continue to walk the path toward humility, authenticity and truth that I started with God.
The only way you can walk with God is humbly- Kim Davis (Proverbs 11:2)
I’ve seen too many people get so full of their pride only to fall down to nothingness (Proverbs 15:25). I did not want to set myself up for failure. I wanted to set myself up for success so I had to let go of the pride I held in my wardrobe. (1 Peter 5:5-6)
Of course, this wasn’t the only time I let my ego get the best of me. But with time, I learned to recognize when I was turning a blessing from God into something it was never meant to be: a reason to think I was better than the people around me.
In that moment, I had to remind myself that yes, I can look good in my clothes but my clothes could no longer serve me as a way of feeling more important than others. God showed me: Yes, I’m special and loved and blessed by Him but I am not better than anyone else.
Walking in humility allowed my authentic self to shine through. It was my transparency that revealed I was just Kim. No more. No less. My clothes could no longer make me the woman I am today. God was making me the woman I am today.
I encourage you to take a moment and examine your life. Are there areas where you need to let go of pride?
Be Blessed, Be Encouraged
For The One
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